


Nobody gets left behind

by randomfandomstuff



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean/Castiel - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Kinda angstfluff, M/M, Purgatory, benny - Freeform, canon!verse, purgatory!fic, some Dean/Benny
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 23:54:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7484871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomfandomstuff/pseuds/randomfandomstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It wasn’t easy for Dean to admit that he wanted Cas. Firstly, he had never been with a man, so it was strange to admit that <em>maybe</em>, just maybe, he was little gay for Cas. Secondly, his luck worked like shit which meant the minute he’d admit he had feelings for Cas, there was no hope he could get him. There was no way Cas could ever love him like that. And even if Dean, by some miracle, would get him, no way he could keep Cas interested. So things would get awkward and Cas wouldn’t want to see him again. </p>
<p>“I don’t know what I want,” Dean muttered instead. It was easier to tell himself that maybe he didn’t want Cas that badly than he thought he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody gets left behind

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic I dare to publish here so I'd appreciate feedback :)  
> Also, English isn't my native language so I apologize for possible grammar mistakes

Purgatory. Dean was in fucking Purgatory. And Cas had just ditched him like an ugly prom date, leaving him running and fighting for his life. Alone.

No, Cas couldn’t have ditched him by his choice. Something terrible must have happened, maybe some son of a bitch sucked him away and had him locked up somewhere for torture. Maybe he was already dead. But Cas was a good fighter, of course he’d be okay. Dean just had to find him and then they’d find a way home.

“Cas?” Dean tired when he was sure there was no monsters around him. Somehow he had managed to lose them, but the real question was for how long. “I don’t know what happened man, but if you can hear me, please Cas, I need you. We need to get out of here.” 

No answer. 

It was dark and hot in Purgatory. Somehow Dean knew that the weather wasn’t comprehensive, so he probably had to get used to the damn hotness. He was already sweating and covered in that black shit leviathans bled. The smell in Purgatory wasn’t pleasant either, it was something between dead corpses and moldy motel rooms. Guess he couldn’t run from that either. Dean kept walking until he was too tired to walk and he had to sit down. He rested his head against a tree, knowing that he’d probably be dead man if he fell asleep. He glanced around, but couldn’t see anything except darkness and tall trees. Was there some kind of sun in this place at all or was it eternal night? Even a bit of light would spice the place up a lot. 

Having Cas next to him would spice the place up a lot.

“It’s okay Cas. I won’t leave without you,” Dean muttered, closing his eyes just for a moment. “I’ll find you and get us home.”

***

Dean didn’t know when his life in Purgatory had changed from running from monsters to chasing them. Maybe when he had realized what his pathetic life was actually worth or maybe because his only way to get out was to find Cas who probably knew a hellova more about the place than Dean did. Only thing Dean had learned was that monsters didn’t sleep and they smelled even worse than the air in the damn hellhole. 

So Dean chased monsters, interrogating them about Cas’ location, but unfortunately the smug bastards were usually more pains in the ass than actually helpful. Few had heard about an angel and a human being trapped inside, but apparently none had left alive to tell the tale about Cas’ location. 

Dean stared at the leviathan he had been chasing for a while for a second before it turned and attacked him. It was no match for him, as most of them weren’t, so Dean was able to spin it easily against a tree. It tried to bite him with his knife-sharp teeth, but Dean had good grasp on him.

“Take a breath, calm down,” Dean said, trying to get the piece of shit calm enough to give him some answers. “Where’s the angel?” he growled, after the monster had cooled a little. 

The son of a bitch gave a laugh-like noise. “You’re him,” it said, smirking, “the human.”

“Where’s the angel,” Dean asked louder, pinning the monster harder against the tree.

“I don’t know,” the smug monster answered, being too damn arrogant for its sake. Dean stared at the monster for a while, scoffed at it and then stuck his knife through the monster’s arm making it yell in pain. Dean grabbed the leviathan’s weapon from the ground and bashed the monster into two pieces with its own weapon. He didn’t have long to admire his work before another one attacked him, knocking him to the ground. Shit, the son of a bitch was heavy. Dean tried to keep its fangs away from his face while reaching for his new weapon, but the battle was not looking good. Just in time something grabbed the monster and hit his head off. Dean got up quickly, staring at the stranger suspiciously, ready to attack if needed. The stranger slowly turned around and Dean could see its fangs. It wasn’t leviathan though, it was a freaking vampire.

“What? No thanks for saving your hide?”

***

Benny. The vampire’s name was Benny. For his sake he had a plan to get them out of the damn place, otherwise he would have ended up like the leviathans who were stupid enough to stand in his way. It took time before Dean started to have trust on Benny. It would have been stupid to trust him blindly, after all the vampire had told him never to trust anyone. He trusted the fact that he was Benny’s only hope getting out and for now it was good enough. Dean still wasn’t absolutely certain that the portal even existed, but even a questionable plan was better than no plan. 

The vampire was quite a talker when he was in the mood but otherwise he stayed quiet, which suited Dean. Benny realized quickly that Dean wasn’t type for chat when there were monsters on every corner trying to kill them. 

Benny was a big help once in a while. They could outdo more monsters together without having to run away and hide like Dean had had to do before meeting Benny. Also, Dean still needed to rest from time to time, not that often than he would have on earth but he still couldn’t walk and kill monsters nonstop. That was when he needed to trust that he would be safe for few hours.

His sleeping was fragment. It took a long time to fall asleep when he kept flinching at the howls and screams from the distant. When he did fall asleep, he usually saw nightmares which annoyingly enough involved bloody leviathan Cas stepping into a lake and drowning. That’s why he usually preferred short, few-hours dreamless sleep. 

One time there was exception. 

_Dean was sitting on the hood of his Impala, drinking beer and watching the quiet forest in front of him. It was nothing like Purgatory, it was bright, good smelling forest, without horrifying screams ruining the peace._

_Then there was suddenly Cas sitting next to him. They looked at each other, exchanging smiles._

_“You came,” Dean said, grabbing Cas’ hand._

_“I always come when you call,” Cas answered and leaned to kiss Dean. It was passionate and deep. It was that kind of kiss that made Dean almost know he was dreaming since there was no change a millennia-old virgin could kiss that good. But it indeed was Cas, and he was pulling Dean closer like Dean was his air._

_Dean’s beer disappeared somewhere and soon they were inside the Impala, Dean’s back against the black, leather backseat and Cas on top of him kissing and touching everywhere. Their clothes disappeared too, leaving them naked and hard against each other._

_Dean was pretty sure he was in heaven._

“Rise ‘n shine, chief.”

Dean growled. He had just gotten his dick inside Cas’ soft mouth and Benny had to choose that freaking moment to wake him up? Shortly, he caught up why Benny had woke him up in the first place, when he felt black leviathan fluid spill on his face. 

“Fucking awesome,” Dean muttered, but he was up and ready to fight sooner than he had thought he would. They killed the two leviathans left rather easily, but it had made them both pant and sweat.

On top of that, Dean was still painfully hard from the dream. 

Dean’s eyes met with Benny’s and he suddenly felt himself darting against the vampire and kissing him with a force he didn’t knew he had after the fight. He realized he was doing something stupid, but he was sick of always being strong and doing the right thing. Benny seemed surprised of his actions but he didn’t try to stop him like Dean had thought. It must have been lonely for a monster too, and god knows how long Benny had been trapped in this hell hole. Benny dropped his knife, shoved Dean against the nearest tree and started pulling of his dirty clothes. Dean kept his eyes closed when stained layers hit the ground, when their naked bodies pressed against each other, when he tasted the sweat and dirt from Benny’s skin and when he came after only few strokes form the vampire’s hand. That way he could almost imagine it was Cas pressing him against his body, needing him like Dean needed Cas.

***

Months. It had took months, but they had found Cas. God, Dean had missed him like crazy. He had been so happy when he had seen Cas squatting by the river but his heart had quickly sunk when Cas had told him he had ran away from him by his choice. Dean had prayed him every single night since they had arrived, but Cas hadn’t answered. And what had made it worse, Cas had heard his prayers. How could Cas had ignored him when he had practically bled his heart out every night? Dean had repeated over and over again how had he needed him by his side and how he had needed to know he was okay. Still he had gotten nothing.

Eventually Dean had chosen to forgive Cas’ escape. Cas had only though he was protecting Dean from the monsters by staying away and Dean understood that. He didn’t approve it, but he understood. 

He had found Cas, and that’s what mattered. 

For the first time he felt like there was hope. Maybe they could all get out alive. He could see Sam again and they would all together solve cases, eat burgers and listen classic rock in the Impala. Dean would even let Cas pick few songs. Maybe he would teach Cas something about cars and even let him drive a little. Maybe Dean would sat on the hood of Baby with Cas and he would grab Cas’ hand and tell him how grateful he was to have him by his side. Maybe Cas would smile and tell Dean how much he meant to him. Maybe Dean would kiss him and maybe Cas would kiss him back.

Maybe.

***

There was one small problem, well, besides the obvious ones: Benny didn’t seemed to take the hint that the meaningless, animalistic sex they had had over the past few months was, in fact, just meaningless. They hadn’t really had time alone so they could talk about it without Cas hearing, so Dean couldn’t do anything else than slapping the vampire’s hand away from his ass or turning his eyes to the ground when Benny made a flirty joke with a suggestive wink. At least he was smart enough to save those when Cas’ eyes were away, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t hear them.

So when Cas finally, after about an week since they had found him, said he would investigate the terrain for its safety before they would cross it, Dean automatically glanced at Benny, only to see his eyes already staring at him with a glimpse of lust.

Dean couldn’t even get a word out of his mouth before Benny was all over him.

“Thought he would swarm around us forever,” Benny smirked and pushed Dean against a tree little bit too hard and gave him one greedy and wet kiss.  
Dean pushed Benny further. “I’m not gay, Benny,” he said and glanced around to see if Cas was still around, but he was nowhere to be seen. Thank God. Actually, screw God, this was just mere luck. 

“Me neither,” Benny said and let his fingers tickle Dean’s leg, his body leaning back against the hunter’s. Dean could feel Benny’s waking wood against his leg.

“I mean seriously,” Dean said and slapped Benny’s hand away and squirmed away from Benny’s hold.

Benny frowned but shrugged. “Alright, I get it, we’re just getting what we can in this misery, no strings attached.”

“This has to stop, Cas can’t know about this,” Dean said wagged his fingers between Benny and him. He still kept glancing around to see if Cas had appeared somewhere.

“Why?” Benny asked, but realized the reason soon enough. “Oh. Should’ve realized it sooner.”

“No,” Dean rushed to say. “It’s not like that,” he denied, feeling himself blush immediately. He did lying for his profession but times like this he just had to goddamn blush like a teenager? 

“Brother, we’ve been searching for your angel for months, if that ain’t a neon sign, I don’t know what is.” 

Dean shrugged, staring at the twigs and leaves under his feet. Maybe it was clear, but he always denied when someone asked. It was like a reflex he couldn’t stop. Maybe there was no point, since it was obvious to most people, to Benny and Sam to name few, but not to the one it mattered.

“Cas and I… It’s not like that,” Dean muttered. 

“Look, I don’t trust the hot-wings who bailed on you when you first hit this place, but you obviously want him,” Benny said. 

“I…” It wasn’t easy for Dean to admit that he wanted Cas. Firstly, he had never been with a man, so it was strange to admit that _maybe_ , just maybe, he was little gay for Cas. Secondly, his luck worked like shit which meant the minute he’d admit he had some feelings for Cas, there was no hope he could get him. There was no way Cas could ever love him like that. And even if Dean, by some miracle, would get him, no way he could keep Cas interested. So things would get awkward and Cas wouldn’t want to see him again. 

“I don’t know what I want,” Dean muttered instead. It was easier to tell himself that maybe he didn’t want Cas that badly than he thought he did.

“Well, you need to figure out your stuff. Living in a crossfire ain’t healthy,” Benny said. “And what comes to us, I meant it. No strings attached. I have someone to get back to too.”

Dean finally raised his eyes to Benny. He felt relieved, because Benny had always seemed the most enthusiastic for intimate stuff between the two of them. Dean had worried that if he had told Benny he didn’t want things to get serious, Benny would get upset or angry and want to leave. That couldn’t happen. Benny wasn’t just a guide back to home, but also a friend. Dean didn’t have lot of friends left he could count on, but he had learned to trust Benny. It was new to him to say that, especially about a vampire, but Benny hadn’t just saved him countless of times while their journey, he had listened to Dean and trusted him with his own story too. He hadn’t heard Benny’s special someone though. 

“Who’s that?” Dean asked.

“Andrea. Beautiful, amazing girl,” Benny said, his eyes far away from where they were standing. “Things left a little unfinished with her.”

“Well, you can finish those things when we get back,” Dean said and started walking to show it was the end of the discussion.

“I will,” Benny said after catching Dean up. “So should you.”

“Enough chick-flicks,” Dean sighed. Right on cue, he spotted few leviathans dozen foot away. “Let’s kill some sons of a bitches.”

“Aye, brother.”

***

Despite Benny’s words that he was okay with Dean’s decision, he noticed that Benny kept getting easily annoyed with Cas and his monster-magnet influence. Not like the vampire and the angel had gotten along particularly good before, but now it seemed like there was either uncomfortable, intense silence or heated, accusing arguing. They had to fight more monsters because their arguing attracted more monsters and they lost time. Due to that they had to spend more time in the damn forest, which only made them more exasperated. For some reason Cas kept accepting Benny’s annoyance and rude words like they were true and he was even on his side when Benny asked Dean to leave Cas behind. But nobody gets left behind, especially not Cas. They had to get to the portal quickly or they would start physically fighting each other. 

***

“I got you, hold on!”

“Dean!”

“I got you!”

But he hadn't. He didn’t got Cas. He did everything he could and he still failed. Just when he was starting to have hope, just when he had painted a pretty picture of himself kissing Cas and just when things were starting to look good, he had failed him. Usually Dean said screwed you to faith and destiny but this looked like inevitability. Everything went wrong in the minute he started to feel hope. 

He was out. Benny was out. Cas wasn’t. Two out of three isn’t statistically that bad but why had that one third had to be Cas?

_“Nobody gets left behind,”_ he had said to Cas. He should have known he couldn’t keep that promise. 

***

Dean thought he had gone nuts when he had kept seeing Cas everywhere. Walking by the road when he had been driving, in the mirror when he had been washing his face and outside when it had been raining… 

Then there he was. In his dirty trench coat and messy stubble, sweat gluing the dirt in his skin, smelling like hot forest and bead bodies. Dean had to touch him just to make sure he was really there. 

“I’m dirty,” Castiel said, glancing down his clothes. He walked to the bathroom, Dean staring at him even after the door had bumped shut. He kept staring at the bathroom door, not hearing what Sam talked next to him, still amazed that Cas had gotten out. 

Maybe there was a change he could have his dream after all.

Maybe.

***

Dean had prayed Castiel for a beer. The idea seemed strange, praying to an angel to have a beer with him like he was some desperate kid without friends. But Cas had come immediately, now standing next to Dean in front of the Impala with untouched beer in his hand. 

“It ain’t gonna bite,” Dean said, glancing Cas with his eyes squeezed from the brightness of the day. It was a pretty day, sunny but not too hot. That kind of day when people would gather together in parks and have picnics. Dean wasn’t one for picnic, but he did appreciated nice weather. 

Cas took a sip of his beer without saying anything. They stayed quiet, leaning against the Impala, staring at the rippling lake in front of them Dean had driven to. This silence wasn’t uncomfortable like the one’s they had shared in the past. This moment was something they both wanted to last. Also, Dean was kind of scared of what he was about to say to the angel. He had planned this for weeks, but he hadn’t come up with anything good, so he had just decided to let things move on its own time.

“Why did you call Dean?” Cas asked finally, after he placed his empty bottle on top of the cooler Dean had brought. 

“Do I have to have a reason to have a beer with my best friend?” Dean asked, staring at the horizon, sipping the last of his beer. 

Cas turned his whole body towards Dean. “I’m your best friend?”

Dean smiled at the angel, little surprised about the confusion in Cas’ blue eyes. “Of course Cas.” This was his chance. He could say it so easily. He took a deep breath and walked to the cooler next to Cas and placed his bottle next to Cas’. Instead of stepping back to his original place, he stayed only a feet away from the angel. “In fact,” he said, gazing Cas from head to toe, “you’re a lot more than that.”

“I am?”

Dean huffed a laugh to Cas’ surprised look which slowly changed into a smile. “Yeah,” he said, staring at Cas’ sparking eyes and grabbed his hand. Suddenly, he wasn’t afraid anymore. He felt like maybe Cas could actually love him the way he loved him. “Do you have any idea what you mean to me, Cas?” he said quietly, fearing that if he raised his voice even a little, some shit like destiny would barge in and ruin the moment. 

“I know what you mean to me,” Cas said, lingering his fingers with Dean’s. “But there isn’t enough words in your language.” Then Cas said some foreign words that sounded like a song, more than just that, like a whole orchestra. It was so beautiful Dean couldn’t do anything else than just harden his hold on Cas’ hand and stare at him smile with his whole face.

“Actually, I think there is something in my language too,” Dean said after he could get himself to speak. He stepped even closer to Cas and brushed Cas’ cheek with his free hand. His gaze dropped at Cas’ lips. “Would you want to know?”

“Yes,” Cas almost panted, licking his lips impatiently. Dean smirked and pressed his lips against the angel’s. 

Maybe something really good could actually come from this.

Maybe.


End file.
